Senior dating sucks, period! Senior internet dating makes me just want to cringe! My first time I was fresh out of a thirty-year marriage, and reeling at fifty-one. I needed to see if men still wanted me. Turns out, I was considered pretty cute and there were tons of options. I dated thirteen guys, had serious relationships with four, and married one of them. That marriage ended after fourteen years. I began my second try at internet dating, in 2020, during the lockdown. This second time I was sixty-eight, older, and battle-worn. The lockdown was forcing us out of restaurants, bars, cafes, theaters, and onto the streets — the cold, windy streets — just to meet in-person. Plus, you would have to be masked. But, I was bound and determined to find a new, sweet love and have a friend, activity buddy and bed-partner. I knew it could be crazy, from spending two years on internet dating the first time. I had no idea how crazy it had become!
I posted on one site, while living in a temporary home, and started vetting the guys on the phone. I had some fun conversations, and they were all willing to meet, whether to walk the windy streets or sit in a car and have a sandwich. I just did not feel comfortable with that approach, so kept pushing them off.
Finally I moved to a new home, in a new town, away from my ex, and was able to really date. The lockdown was lifted, slightly, and we could frequent cafes and restaurants, again. I started talking with about five guys, and agreed to meet two in-person. Both were divorced, and had some baggage, as did I. One of them became my first real relationship, after my marriage. It was short but sweet. He lived seven miles from me, when we met. Then, he moved two hundred miles away and it was a stretch to get together. We managed it for about two months, and finally let it peter-out. It was lovely to at least have had someone who wanted to be with me!
I then had a bunch of first and second dates with several guys — retired park manager, retiring doctor, retired contractor, active steel fab company owner, attorney, retiring property manager. I ended up in a three-month serious “committed exclusive relationship” with a recent widower. It was hot and heavy, and then he sold his home to move closer to family. He wanted a long-distance relationship, I did not. It ended.
Another series of first and second dates, even fourth dates, some one-night stands, and, by November of 2021, I was totally convinced I was done with men and dating. I had been with one guy whose dog destroyed my new lawn, another whose pup peed on my new couch, and another who would just show-up to camp for the weekend, taking over my home and television and asking “What’s for dinner?” I had decided I was done with men.
I vented on TikTok and my first post “OMG, Dating at 69!”, got over 100,000 hits. I had found a niche! I started telling them all about my dates, dissecting the conversations and talking about the kissing styles. I was getting so many folks telling me all about their experiences, and we would laugh and cry together.
At the last moment, after I took my profile off the first site, and moved onto two new sites, I met someone so special, so wonderful, it blew my mind! Four months later, we are now in a “Committed, Exclusive, Relationship.” We can talk about anything, disagreeing about some pretty big stuff, and find a way back to each other, without ever getting mad or hateful. He is everything I hoped for and visualized. We agree we both manifested the other. Internet dating brought us together. It is highly unlikely we would ever have met any other way. We live in totally different areas and frequent different venues. Without the dreaded “Senior Internet Dating” we literally never would have met.
If you are at the place in your life where you find yourself alone, and longing for a connection, a relationship, internet dating can work. You have to be prepared for the craziness of posting a profile, responding to contacts, initiating if you like someone, and then, figuring out if you want to try meeting them. Dating only comes after there is some real connection, some twinkle or tingle, that tells you should keep this moving forward. And the first kiss is the key! A crappy first kiss means a doubtful connection, at least in my book.
So, it was worth the risk, to me. Date safely, in public, and don’t give out your home address until you are absolutely sure. Have a list of what you want, and what you won’t tolerate, and use it to select the right profiles from the plethora of matches you will get. Don’t be afraid to say No, and move on. Don’t be afraid to say Yes and reach-out.
The World of Senior Internet Dating is waiting for you! I can coach you on a great profile and how to manage the dates, if you like. I have launched that as another of my coaching offerings. Whatever you choose, be well and have a Happy Life!
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